#1) Beer before liquor, never been sicker; Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Okay, I hate this myth so much. The key here is that a standard drink- 1 can of Miller Lite, one regular 5 ounce glass of wine, and one cocktail with 1 ½ ounces of 80 proof spirit - all have about 14 grams of pure alcohol. Alcohol is alcohol, no matter what other stuff is mixed with it, so it doesn’t matter what order you drink it in. The only thing that matters here is time; the faster you drink, the worse you’re going to feel later. So why do I hate this myth so much? Because most beer-drinking Wisconsinites use this myth to avoid cocktail drinking, likely because it’s easier to milk something hidden by a can or they can’t admit they aren’t very adventurous; i.e., “Sorry, can’t try your Ixtapa, I started with beer, you know!”
#2) Hard liquor makes me fight. No, it doesn’t. If it did, beer would too if you were drinking it as fast as the tequila. See #1.
#3) Beer should be stored warm and drank cold. For best and freshest results for taste, most beers should be stored in an area that has a fahrenheit temperature in the 50s and should be drank somewhere in the 40s
#4) Martinis are any liquid poured into a martini glass. That V-shaped glass you are drinking from is properly called a cocktail glass. Martinis are drinks containing gin and vermouth, that’s it. Martinis are not even cocktails, so they are the worst drink to generalize everything to. So stop. Oh, and a ‘vodka martini’ is actually a Kangaroo. Remember it’s named that so you don’t drink them!
#5) Tequila is made from a cactus. Nope, not cactus juice. Tequila is made from the blue agave plant, a succulent, not a cactus. The Weber’s blue agave plant is more closely related to yucca plants and Joshua trees.
#6) Tequila bottles have a worm at the bottom. Generally speaking, tequila doesn’t have any worms at their bottle’s bottom. Mezcal sometimes has critters in the bottle, though, it’s not likely to be a worm, per se. Most likely it would be a larva of a Mariposa butterfly, a critter that loves agave plants which mezcal is made. Sometimes other creepy crawlies find their way into mezcal bottles; here at the FWL, one of our favorite mezcals has a scorpion in the bottle.
#7) Absinthe will make you hallucinate. This myth comes from the one ingredient in which absinthe is made: wormwood. Wormwood has thujone, which manipulates GABA, a neurotransmitter that is involved in anti-anxiety effects in the body (which causes body spasms, not bad trips). However, even classically distilled absinthe has only been shown to have trace amounts of thujone in it. So why the hallucinogenic reputation? Probably because absinthe is commonly anywhere between 110-150 proof.
#8) Alcohol in energy drinks makes us drunker. Energy drinks and alcohol just makes you more awake than you were. You aren’t any more drunk or any more sober.
#9) Putting pennies in your mouth avoids a breathalyzer. Nope. Neither does a breath mint. Breathalyzers detect alcohol by a chemical reaction, not by smell. If it was that easy to foil them, the police wouldn’t use them. Go by this rule: if you are so drunk that you think putting pennies in your mouth is a good idea for any reason, you’re too drunk to drive.
#10) My whiskey I bought in 1983 is better now than it was then. Your whiskey is not wine. Your whiskey only ages in the barrel, where the wood provides sugars and color to your whiskey. After it is bottled, it’s ‘good’ aging has stopped and it’s ‘bad’ aging (oxidization) begins.
Let’s give you a cool modern cocktail with the alcohols mentioned in our myths.
Sleepy Hollow Cocktail
½ ounce absinthe
2 ounces mezcal
1 ounce of allspice dram
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Pour enough absinthe into an old fashioned glass. Swirl to coat the inside of the glass and discard the remainder. Fill a stirring glass with ice. Add remaining ingredients to the stirring glass in the order above. Stir to drinker’s preferred dilution and strain into the absinthe-prepared glass. Garnish with a rosemary sprig, set afire briefly and left smoking.
